Malec and Associates

Is loneliness the same as being alone? Can a person be with other people and still feel lonely? Loneliness is a feeling of being alone, not necessarily a situation where a person is alone. In fact, some people who are alone do not experience a “feeling” of loneliness at all. Some experts believe that loneliness is often associated with a feeling of being outside a person’s norm group which causes a person to experience a sense of vulnerability. For example, a newly divorced woman may feel loneliness because she sees herself as different from her group of friends who are all still married. She views herself as an outsider and fears being rejected by others. Still other experts attribute it to a primitive need for safety that belonging to a group has provided throughout our development as a species. When a person perceives themselves as not having a social connection, it triggers a fight-flee response. This distress pushes the person to pursue connections and if they can’t find those connections, there is a deleterious effect on both the body and mind.

Whatever the cause, origin or explanation of loneliness it has become an important topic across generations.  We see it becoming more of a concern with teens, single young men and even older adults. The question of what role technology plays is complicated. In some studies, especially with older adults, Facebook, Skype and emailing can help to reduce loneliness. In these situations, participants are engaging with friends and family in which they might not connect with due to distance. However, for younger adults, 18 through 22, a reduction in the use of social media reduced their level of loneliness. When technology is used to supplement our social engagement, it tends to improve our feelings of belonging, but overused or is our only connection, it can have the reverse effect.