By Elaine A. Malec, PhD

School field trips, soccer practice, basketball, baseball, play dates, homework, tutoring, church trips, birthday parties, graduations, prom, vacations, one kid, two kids, three or more.  Book club, golf outing, bible study, workouts, block parties, work functions all on top of the “regular” stuff.  When do you know it’s too much?  How and where do you cut back?  As with most things, it depends.  For one family, the activities seem to fit ok and for another it seems everyone is stressed out.  Try to step back and really look at what the family is doing.  Take a calendar and mark a red X on each day when two or more members have obligations beyond their duties (homework, going to school, going to work, etc).  Ask some important questions about quality time.  How often does the family hang around the house, whether it be Saturday morning, Sunday afternoon or Friday night and just do unstructured activities?  Parents need to be “available” for spontaneous conversations, even if they don’t happen.  Ask yourself how often does someone have a “meltdown” (yelling, crying, arguing out of frustration) in the house?  If it happens once a week or more, then the level of stress is too high, and it may be a sign that the family is too busy.